I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
