I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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