I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
