Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
ugly people sure do ruin things
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
