im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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