I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think my moral compass just broke
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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