Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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