I wanna passion pit in your ass
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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