You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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