Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize