There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
