Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
