Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
