I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize