I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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