We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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