Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
