did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
