I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
