I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
