Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
