Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
