he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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