Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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