Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
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When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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