You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
