I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
