they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
