Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
