last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
