I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize