i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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