Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
