laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
