I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
