I didn't shave. On purpose
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
