someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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