i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Randomize
