You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
