I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
