So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
