He is an equal opportunity slut.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
