We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
