He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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