gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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