I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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