I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize