i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
