I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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