I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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