plz talk dirty to me
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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