It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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