Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
