we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
