I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
