If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There's a naked man in my car right now.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
