I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
