is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize