we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
