I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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