Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
