Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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