I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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