We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
