I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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