Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
