They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
