i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
God, you're like boner-b-gone
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
