4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
