His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
