Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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