she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
